As a knitter, one of the most annoying things when knitting is to have delicate yarn snag on one’s rough fingers. Sure, a good scrub will exfoliate all that roughness off or you can always opt to rub some hand cream on.

I, on the other hand, am a nail biter. Actually, I’m a finger biter. It’s a dirty, disgusting habit I’ve had for over 25 years. Now, you’re wondering, “what the hell is finger biting” ? Well, it began as nailbiting, which you may know as the constant gnawing, chewing, and ripping off nails and spitting it out left and right like chewing tobacco. Most nailbiters never need nail clippers because their nails are gnawed down to the quick, occasionally drawing blood. Yes, it’s gross and I’ll admit to doing quite often, especially when nervous. (You had to see my bloody mutilated fingers after taking the SAT exam. Talk about a horror show) Then, one day, I decided I wanted to stop this. I wanted to wear nail polish like other people and I wanted to open soda cans without having to ask for help (this may be one reason why I don’t drink soda) So, the nails are finally intact and I actually have normal looking nails now. EXCEPT…like an addict who shifts from one addiction to another, I now have gone to gnawing on the skin surrounding the nail. The sides of the nail, the tip of the finger and at its worst, the folds of the fingers. This makes for some really rough fingers and a heck of a time trying to knit without having yarn stick all over my fingers. (to understand what kind of state my fingers are in, get this: I was rejected for fingerprinting at the civil hall for IDs three times because I didn’t have fingerprints in 6 of my 10 fingers. I was told to come back when the skin grew back and had fingerprints.) I will spare you a photograph of my fingers because it’s quite gross. (if you peel away three layers of skin on your finger, that’s what it looks like – think, a skinned rabbit)

Now, I’m writing about this because I’m trying to stop and make my fingers normal again. I don’t know why I do it and it’s gotten so bad that I can’t bend some of my fingers. (it hurts too much) Can you believe I was squeezing lime juice the other day with my bare hands? It hurt more than going into labor. The ends of my hair were standing stick straight.

I just can’t seem to stop picking at the hanging pieces of skin. Like an annoying hangnail that you yank and instantly regret doing it, I go on day after day picking at the skin, drawing blood, and yelling at myself for being so gross. Argh!

So here I go again with another resolution:
NO BITING FINGERS! Every time I find myself doing it, I’m giving away a skein of yarn. And if I succeed in getting my fingers to look normal, I’m treating myself to some online yarn buying. (That oughta do the trick!)